By tomorrow we'll be lost amongst the leaves,
In a wind that chills the skeletons of trees,
And when the moon, it shines, I will leave two lines.
Find my love, then find me.
Just received my letter for an interview about my ESA benefits. I have to go be interviewed by a ‘medical professional’ and they will determine if I should stay on the benefits, and be put in to one of two groups, or be taken off them, and probably given job seekers allowance.
I’m so scared, I’ve read these things are brutal, like they can decide to take you off benefits because you’re not dying or paralysed basically. I can’t cope with a job, I can’t even cope with going to college, I want to get myself better before I try to do anything because I know if I tried right now, I’d fail miserably and end up even worse off. I feel so sick and I’m shaking. I’m terrified.
I feel so ill, getting worried, this happens too frequently to blame it on depression. I’m supposed to be doing my therapy homework and I have to write about my skills, I got frustrated because I know I don’t have any, I’m not good at art or sports or singing or dancing or maths or English or playing an instrument or anything. My boyfriends suggestion of ‘sucking dick’ was both unhelpful and depressing, I don’t fancy the prostitute lifestyle. Well, my life’s looking up.